Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
