Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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