Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
