i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
