Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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