Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
