I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
