I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
