i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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