I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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