My sheets look like a crime scene.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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