Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
