Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
