as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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