found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Text me some of your sweat
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