she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
