I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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