Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
