I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dicks are not precious.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
