I accidentally burped into my bong.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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