We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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