it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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