She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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