Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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