and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize