How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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