I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize