we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
