so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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