he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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