honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
