What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
