Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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