in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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