I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
