Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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