dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
