so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I came so hard my ears popped.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
