ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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