Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
