..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
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