my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
