So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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