similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
