U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
