I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
