CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Even my vagina gasped.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
