I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
