I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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