someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
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Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize