I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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