I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
