And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
