Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
