At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Come on in and take your pants off
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