peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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