hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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