There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
im on a boat
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