Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
