So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
