This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
